In Memory

I have been putting this off for way too long, and the longer I wait, the harder it gets.
A lot of things have happened since the last entry. At the top of the list are some family issues that I have had a hard time dealing with and just not wanted to write about, but need to, to move forward.
In September my sister passed away. Two weeks latter, my mother suddenly passed away as well.
My sister had been fighting cancer for several years and was passed the point of making another come back. While there is nothing good about any of this, we had all tried to prepared for the eventual out come.
My mother as very unexpected. She had Parkinson’s and other age related issues, but was still very active, not much could slow her down for long. She would take an occasional fall as I noted in an earlier post about my wedding, but most were relatively minor with some bad bruises. In fact just before my sisters funeral, she had taken a tumble and banged up her elbow pretty bad. Rather than waiting for someone else, she was trying to carry a play pen upstairs for us to use when we came home. She was then on blood thinners to prevent blood clots from the bruising. About a week and a half latter she got a bad nose bleed that would not stop, so she was taken to the hospital. They got it stopped and took her off the blood thinners while they kept her in the hospital for observation. All seemed fine when she suddenly passed away at night, officially from a heart attach, while still in the hospital. She had everything already planned, for when the day came, she wanted everything donated, then cremated, and simple memorial at the church, no flowers – but donations to cancer or Parkinson’s research, or the church. Apparently, they used everything they could for transplant, even skin. Of course this has to happen quickly, and with living 300 miles away I did not have a chance to see her one last time. When we went home, my other sisters were already dealing with the few necessary arrangements that were left, so I ended up throwing myself into going through decades of photos to put together something to display at the memorial service. Being the youngest of 4, there were a lot of old pictures I had never seen, that showed me my mother as young person I never knew. It was hard, but in ways it seemed like someone else, probably the only thing that kept me from going bat shit and curling up in the corner a blubbering mess. We all were a bit worried about my dad for a while, but he seems to be doing OK, in fact he and my brother-in-law have gotten much closer supporting each other.
I am so glad Mom got to know Zoe for at least a short while, and while she may not remember her Grandma, at least Zoe will have pictures with her to look back at one day and see the joy in her face.
Since then we made it though Christmas and all trying to keep moving forward. With spring coming things all start anew and since Mom loved her flowers and garden, I will be putting more effort into finishing the rain barrel system in her memory.

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So…I got married. And my Mom hits the floor.

Yes, it happened and the world hasn’t ended yet.
There will be some pictures to follow at some point.
It was (suppose) to be a fairly small and simple affair at the court house that ended up with 20 people showing up. Thanks to all who did. The next day we had a simple reception with around 35. Thanks again. Small by most accounts, but bigger that we expected when we started planning with fairly short notice.
We have one more party to go with our friends at our home.
We didn’t have a honey moon since we have been living together nearly 9 years, (and still broke) but we did spend the day in St. Louis. The following day though will make the “honey-moon” hard to forget.

My mother has Parkinson’s that is slowly getting worse. She actually is very active and does quite well, with an occasional spill. We happened to be there for one. She missed a step going into the house and fell on her back on a concrete floor in the garage. We were all sitting there at the time drinking our morning coffee, when BAM. I turned around to see her laying there, not moving. Needless to say everyone freaked out. I was sitting right next to her landing spot and started trying to do all the things you should do.
She was out cold, and not breathing.
I started to remember my 20 year old CPR training class and gave breaths then checked for pulse, which I could not find or hear so I moved on to compressions. I felt her ribs go “crunch” which turned out to be cracked from the fall, but still was not a good thing feel. Still not breathing, so carefully tilted her head again since there was now some blood on the floor under her head, and more breaths and she started to breath again and come around.
I carefully held a rag under her head to stop bleeding (she is on blood thinners, so I was a bit worried) then set it down and packed towels on each side so she would not move around.
By this time my new wife Brenda was on the phone with 911 and gave it to me to fill them in and stay on the line until the ambulance got there. Living in the country can have it’s disadvantages at times. Mom was becoming more alert and starting to feel the pain, so I tried to keep her calm. I told her she went to a lot of effort just to get a kiss from her son! Of course my mom is a pretty tough old bird and just before they loaded her into the ambulance she said, “All I want to say is… SHIT” which the EMT told her she could say as many times as she wants. I rode along to the hospital and more family showed up there and THEN I about threw up from coming down from all that happened.

Turns out, she is going to be fine. 4 cracked ribs, 9 stitches in her head, bad bruise on her arm where she landed with her ribs, and a big head ache. My niece works at the hospital in imaging so we know she was checked out good. They kept her over night and kicked her out the next day.

I sort of wanted to write this down just to get it out of my head. Didn’t mean to get so serious in my blog. See, we live 4-1/2 hours away and it was “lucky” we were there when this happened. My dad would not have been able to handle it alone and I was so glad I was there when she needed me. I am still amazed I was able to react the way I did.

I think most people wonder how they will react to a situation when it arises and (mom’s) SHIT hits the fan, and I guess in my case I did OK?

Now I just have to deal with being married! Oh and did I mention the kid on the way???

(Love ya, mom)

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